Ever been scrolling around the internet and wanted to stuff a whole tumblr in your pocket and take it with you for later to stare at on the bus or gently caress under your desk in class or read in a public bathroom? Well, if that tumblr happened to be mine, you’re in luck! You can buy my zines, which are basically like tumblr only on paper and full of even more feelings!
If you see something here you’d like to order, just drop a note in my askbox and I’ll tell you where to mail to. I take well-concealed cash/checks/money orders (US currency only) or trades (if you happen not to live here, or are broke and can’t send money. I know that feeling).
All orders include a personal note and some fun freebies!

~*~*~*~*~UPDATE~*~*~*~*~
I DO HAVE A WEBSTORE NOW!!! Hit me up if you’d rather use your credit card and not worry about putting money in the mail!

Whatstheirname // $4 // 72 pagesWHATSTHEIRNAME is a bracing 72-page romp through even MORE of my gender issues!! You thought I had it all out after Every Thug Is A Lady? PFFFFFT. Clearly you underestimated the depth of my angst. This one’s a look at my gender (or lack thereof) two years down the road…and lemme tell you, life ain’t always a barrel of kittens. Featuring theories from childhood, Laura Jane Grace, ruminations on adolescence and fandom and boys in eyeliner, shin-kicking, Real Dolls, and the death of my relationship, it’ll make you feel that much better about yourself! And for four measly dollars you can have it for yourself, to hold in your hands and love and caress and possibly read with a magnifying glass cuz sweet satan my handwriting’s gotten small.

Read Once & Destroy // $4 // 64 pagesHave you ever wondered what kind of navel-gazing bad angsty poetry bullshit I get up to in my personal notebooks, where I go for cheap hamburgers, how I feel about the lack of teahouses in my life, and why exactly I wrote a zine about Columbine? WELL DO I HAVE A ZINE FOR YOU!! READ ONCE & DESTROY is a compilation of crap I’ve written over the past year or so, taken directly from my notebooks and assorted scraps of paper, creative meltdowns and all! Clocking in at 64 pages, it covers everything from my existential crises to why I’ll never be able to hold down a romantic relationship to DIY ethics and the graves of Detroit-area musicians and internet fandom. If you sometimes wish you could stick my whole tumblr in your pocket and walk around with it, now’s your chance!

Broiling for Columbine // $2 tumblr special // 40 pagesThe world’s first (and only!) Columbine high school massacre-themed cookbook has arrived! BROILING FOR COLUMBINE has 17 recipes, loads of pictures, and more bad taste than you can shake a stick at! Three months of research has made it better than Dave Cullen’s Columbine (and more accurate, too). Featuring recipes passed down on the gritty dark side of the internet, culled from Littleton church cookbooks, and ferreted out of declassified documents, it follows Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris on their arc from just weird kids to mayhem and mass murder. It’s dark, delicious, and delightfully detestable, and at $2 you really can’t go wrong. Order one up today and make your kitchen fucking godlike. JEAAAAHHHHH!!!


All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues // $4 // 68 pages + cardstock covers
Part perzine, part horror story, part spelunking adventure into my mom’s tortured psyche, ALL THE BEST COWBOYS is 68 quarter-sized pages of heartbreak. Stories of dead squirrels, defrauding jesus, voicemails from hell, alcoholism, bipolar disorder, and the best music of the mid-nineties are all wrapped up in faux-storybook cardstock for your reading pleasure. Sit back, relax, and let my traumatic childhood make you feel that much better about your own! It’s cheaper than therapy and there are even illustrations (by the lovely Heather Kelly, making their zine debut)! All this crap and loads more, in limited-edition (NOW MULTICOLORED!!!) high-quality cardstock covers, for a mere $4. It would be a crime not to buy it.


Every Thug Is A Lady // $3 tumblr special // 72 pages
EVERY THUG is 72 luscious quarter-sized pages of only the finest bitching, moaning, finally accepting, and then making sweet passionate love to my gender identity. It’s photocopied on the most beautiful Xerox machine in all of existence, which is so majestic that it runs solely on unicorn tears and cake, and also includes fun things like guides on how to hack your Facebook page, loads of badly-drawn pictures, things that make me go HNNNNGH, and amusing cartoon interludes! All of that (and more, and stickers) for the low low tumblr price of just $3. Seriously. You can’t buy it anywhere else for cheaper. Because I love you guys.


All On Black // free // 32 pages
Do you worry about how people will treat your putrefying corpse after you drop dead? I do. Frequently. So I made a zine about it! ALL ON BLACK is a 32-page zine that’s about the size of a teabag, detailing exactly what sort of nonsensical frippery I expect for my funeral. It alternates between ruminations on art, death, accidental jesusing, and appropriate mourning procedures and the kind of over-the-top party plans you’d expect from somebody as dramatic as me. And because I’m paranoid of having a crappy funeral, it’s free. You know what else is free anymore? Nothing. Except herpes. And herpes is nowhere near as much fun.


Cunning Stunt // free // 16 pages
YEAST HAPPENS! CUNNING STUNT is a micro-mini-rant about the politics surrounding my vagina and the captain’s chronicle of my most recent yeast infecton, all rolled into one! Because sometimes, I make jokes on twitter that I then take way too far, and now I have a zine about yeast infections. Read at your own, yeasty risk.

Ever been scrolling around the internet and wanted to stuff a whole tumblr in your pocket and take it with you for later to stare at on the bus or gently caress under your desk in class or read in a public bathroom? Well, if that tumblr happened to be mine, you’re in luck! You can buy my zines, which are basically like tumblr only on paper and full of even more feelings!

If you see something here you’d like to order, just drop a note in my askbox and I’ll tell you where to mail to. I take well-concealed cash/checks/money orders (US currency only) or trades (if you happen not to live here, or are broke and can’t send money. I know that feeling).

All orders include a personal note and some fun freebies!

~*~*~*~*~UPDATE~*~*~*~*~

I DO HAVE A WEBSTORE NOW!!! Hit me up if you’d rather use your credit card and not worry about putting money in the mail!



Whatstheirname // $4 // 72 pages

WHATSTHEIRNAME
is a bracing 72-page romp through even MORE of my gender issues!! You thought I had it all out after Every Thug Is A Lady? PFFFFFT. Clearly you underestimated the depth of my angst. This one’s a look at my gender (or lack thereof) two years down the road…and lemme tell you, life ain’t always a barrel of kittens. Featuring theories from childhood, Laura Jane Grace, ruminations on adolescence and fandom and boys in eyeliner, shin-kicking, Real Dolls, and the death of my relationship, it’ll make you feel that much better about yourself! And for four measly dollars you can have it for yourself, to hold in your hands and love and caress and possibly read with a magnifying glass cuz sweet satan my handwriting’s gotten small.




Read Once & Destroy // $4 // 64 pages

Have you ever wondered what kind of navel-gazing bad angsty poetry bullshit I get up to in my personal notebooks, where I go for cheap hamburgers, how I feel about the lack of teahouses in my life, and why exactly I wrote a zine about Columbine? WELL DO I HAVE A ZINE FOR YOU!! READ ONCE & DESTROY is a compilation of crap I’ve written over the past year or so, taken directly from my notebooks and assorted scraps of paper, creative meltdowns and all! Clocking in at 64 pages, it covers everything from my existential crises to why I’ll never be able to hold down a romantic relationship to DIY ethics and the graves of Detroit-area musicians and internet fandom. If you sometimes wish you could stick my whole tumblr in your pocket and walk around with it, now’s your chance!




Broiling for Columbine // $2 tumblr special // 40 pages

The world’s first (and only!) Columbine high school massacre-themed cookbook has arrived! BROILING FOR COLUMBINE has 17 recipes, loads of pictures, and more bad taste than you can shake a stick at! Three months of research has made it better than Dave Cullen’s Columbine (and more accurate, too). Featuring recipes passed down on the gritty dark side of the internet, culled from Littleton church cookbooks, and ferreted out of declassified documents, it follows Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris on their arc from just weird kids to mayhem and mass murder. It’s dark, delicious, and delightfully detestable, and at $2 you really can’t go wrong. Order one up today and make your kitchen fucking godlike. JEAAAAHHHHH!!!

image

All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues // $4 // 68 pages + cardstock covers

Part perzine, part horror story, part spelunking adventure into my mom’s tortured psyche, ALL THE BEST COWBOYS is 68 quarter-sized pages of heartbreak. Stories of dead squirrels, defrauding jesus, voicemails from hell, alcoholism, bipolar disorder, and the best music of the mid-nineties are all wrapped up in faux-storybook cardstock for your reading pleasure. Sit back, relax, and let my traumatic childhood make you feel that much better about your own! It’s cheaper than therapy and there are even illustrations (by the lovely Heather Kelly, making their zine debut)! All this crap and loads more, in limited-edition (NOW MULTICOLORED!!!) high-quality cardstock covers, for a mere $4. It would be a crime not to buy it.

image

Every Thug Is A Lady // $3 tumblr special // 72 pages

EVERY THUG is 72 luscious quarter-sized pages of only the finest bitching, moaning, finally accepting, and then making sweet passionate love to my gender identity. It’s photocopied on the most beautiful Xerox machine in all of existence, which is so majestic that it runs solely on unicorn tears and cake, and also includes fun things like guides on how to hack your Facebook page, loads of badly-drawn pictures, things that make me go HNNNNGH, and amusing cartoon interludes! All of that (and more, and stickers) for the low low tumblr price of just $3. Seriously. You can’t buy it anywhere else for cheaper. Because I love you guys.

image

All On Black // free // 32 pages

Do you worry about how people will treat your putrefying corpse after you drop dead? I do. Frequently. So I made a zine about it! ALL ON BLACK is a 32-page zine that’s about the size of a teabag, detailing exactly what sort of nonsensical frippery I expect for my funeral. It alternates between ruminations on art, death, accidental jesusing, and appropriate mourning procedures and the kind of over-the-top party plans you’d expect from somebody as dramatic as me. And because I’m paranoid of having a crappy funeral, it’s free. You know what else is free anymore? Nothing. Except herpes. And herpes is nowhere near as much fun.

image

Cunning Stunt // free // 16 pages

YEAST HAPPENS! CUNNING STUNT is a micro-mini-rant about the politics surrounding my vagina and the captain’s chronicle of my most recent yeast infecton, all rolled into one! Because sometimes, I make jokes on twitter that I then take way too far, and now I have a zine about yeast infections. Read at your own, yeasty risk.